It's Monday and was definitely feeling like it.
My crazy kids decided that they would run around for 15 minutes instead of putting their shoes on. We left the house 10 minutes late. I walked into work (early, shockingly) and people were already lining up for me to help them with something.
I also found out that they are having a ceremony for my boss at my previous job. She passed away at Thanksgiving and they are putting her name on a plaque. I wasn't invited. A former coworker who hadn't worked there in about three years sent me a text to ask if I was going to be there. I know it seems like an incredibly trivial thing, but I worked there for over 10 years and I'm hurt. I didn't leave on a "bad note", or at least I don't feel like I did, so I'm not sure why. Part of me wants to just show up, but I guess that's kind of selfish. Anyway, I was definitely feeling the need to be a martyr coming on.
Shortly after that, a coworker asked me how it was going. I whined and told her about the snub and said it was making me kind of pissy today. I asked her how she was and here's when I felt like a complete jerk. She said she had a horrible weekend - she fell and sprained her wrist and got dumped by her girlfriend of 1 1/2 years.
She started to get teary and I do not deal well with crying people. Nope, it's not because it makes me cry, unless it's something that I probably should be crying about (like someone dying). I know convention would say - I'm a girl and that should make me equipped to comfort people with the perfect statement and action. Yeah, right. I did give her a hug, told her that sucked and apologized and said I definitely had nothing to complain about comparatively. She said that she didn't want to be here today, but is glad for the distraction that's keeping her from just sitting in her apartment dwelling on it.
As I said, I felt like a complete jerk and my whining for the day was abruptly silenced.
My problem was/is so minimal compared to her heartbreak. I know that a lost love doesn't exactly rank up there with world hunger or some other things, but, I would say that it's possibly worse than losing someone to death (in the top 5 of "worse than your problem" list). In death, both sides are without control or decision; the person who passed didn't want to go or leave their loved ones behind. When someone's heart gets broken, the worst part is dealing with the fact that the other person left and is still out there. Most people will say that suffering and pain are a fate worse than death and I am inclined to agree.
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